Vulnerability ahead...
In this season, I am learning how to accept my body as it is, and in effect, love myself as I am, in all ways. Becoming completely vulnerable and releasing shame with my beloved. Allowing him to nurture me by touching and holding me in my most insecure places. The places of my body I wish didn’t exist. The places I desperately try to hide from others and even from myself. Instead, I will allow my tears to flow as I deliberately place his hands in the places I feel I would be rejected for. Called ugly for. Called fat for. These words are like knives in my gut. But I have said them to myself. I have rejected myself. This has never been about hiding from him, it has been about hiding from me. Becoming defensive and pulling away when he would reach for a part of my physicality that I deem unworthy. He accepts me. He supports me. He loves me. I must allow that divine masculine within me to follow my beloved’s example and release the self rejection, the self hatred, the self condemnation, and instead accept my worthiness. Even those parts I have hated with viciousness - they are worthy too. All of me is worthy of love and honor. I am learning this through vulnerability. I am releasing my arms from covering my body. I am showing my body in its glory, without shame, without hate, but with reverence. I am allowing and I am releasing the shadow.
Beautiful Artwork by guadalupe.depaulis