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Does This Contribute to the Life I’m Trying to Create?

Our words, actions, behaviors, and choices create the environment around us.

Obviously this can be looked at very literally, in that if we don’t do the work, we won’t reap the reward.

But there’s also the point that if we engage in unnecessary external competition, idle gossip, catty behaviors, or even self deprecation - we contribute to a negative environment.

Oftentimes in session work, I’m asked why the client keeps finding themselves in a negative work environment, unhealthy relationships, unsupportive or jealous friendships.

And I advise asking 2 questions:

1. What kind of behaviors do you engage in?

2. What does your relationship with yourself look like?

We get what we give. If we engage in trash talking other people - we will find ourselves surrounded by people who trash talk. People who externalize their own insecurities by viewing others in a negative light.

If we engage in self deprecating behaviors, ie: talking badly about our body, not giving ourselves credit for our hard work, constantly doubting our abilities - we will find ourselves surrounded by others who also doubt us, don’t give us credit, and criticize our appearance and abilities.

And most importantly, when we can’t be honest about our behaviors and habits, or our self-talk patterns, we CANNOT change our environment. You can make all the externalize work happen, hustle and push yourself. But you’ll always find yourself surrounded by negativity if you continue engaging in negative behaviors.

Give what you want to get.

Practice self compassion and compassion for others.

Get real honest when self reflecting and practice humility in your assessments of self.

Think before you act or speak and question, “Is this contributing to the life I’m trying to create?”

Offer love, compassion, understanding, and patience into the world - then see how your environment changes.

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