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Writer's pictureShaunaRupp

Witnessing the Inner Child



Yesterday I stood witness to the inner child of someone who is responsible for most of the trauma I’ve experienced in this life. This person has been controlled by inverted programming the entire time I’ve known them, due to the pain dealt by someone else who was controlled by their inverted programming. The vicious cycle goes on and on, backward through “time”.


I saw a little girl. I knew right away this wasn’t my inner child. I’ve met her before in healing. I knew who this little girl was and the realization brought me to tears. She was scared, curled up in a corner of a dark room (cube). All around her I saw phantom beings, cogs turning, shadowy movement happening. The fear I felt from her was heartbreaking. These programs had held her hostage for God knows how long.


For many years, I wondered if there was any Sophianic essence left in this person. Their behavior was manipulative, narcissistic, devoid of any compassion or integrity, with a clear desire to protect the self against any perceived threat (mostly imagined). Psychosis of many forms mixed and merged with real psychic gifts, making any interaction with this person all the more disturbing and the cause of decades of confusion. How do we not become angry with someone who’s behavior is so hurtful and filled with spite and rage?


I had an overwhelming feeling of sadness. This was all that was left. This little girl, holed up within a terrifying fun house of smoke, mirrors, and demons. This was all that remained of their Sovereign Sophianic Light.


I saw Mother Mary go to the little girl and wrap her up in her arms, shielding her from the scenes around her and the grinding sounds of the gears and cogs turning all around. Mother Mary held the little girl while she cried and then relaxed into her arms. I sent my prayers to this person, and particularly to this pure, Sophianic essence that I was given the opportunity to witness. I felt less bitterness, less anger, less resentment.


They don’t truly have the ability to see how much they’ve hurt others in their life, including me. The damage they received, that went unchecked, unhealed, caused deep cracks and fragments, sending pieces of their consciousness in all directions, entrapped and siphoned off of, held hostage. Phantom programming and dark beings took over their self expression, their identity, their once-beautiful psychic gifts, and distorted them to be used against others for a dark agenda.


While it doesn’t excuse the trauma this person placed in my field, it does help me to release it. I can release these wounded fragments of my own heart, the parts of me that hold disappointment and despair for what I never had. The sores and wounds that this person kept re-opening throughout my life can heal. Although heartbreaking to witness, part of me needed to see that this person had essence of True Life within them, even as deeply buried as this scene shows it to be. And I needed to see what has been controlling their actions and words so that my own Inner Child can continue the healing process.


I fervently prayed that this pure, little girl could one day be free to express, free from fear and free from enslavement. I know this person is not ready to see these areas of their field, but I pray that one day they can come to a place of consent for this healing to occur. I hold no hatred against this person. I hold them in love, with hope. I will keep my boundaries strong, but I will not allow them to morph into hatred or bitterness, making me cold or fearful, because then they’ve succeeded in holding my Sophianic essence hostage, as well. Now that I have seen the truth of this person’s pain and lack of sovereignty, I cannot hold blame or anger within me for their condition.


Instead I choose to rest in the safe arms of my true Holy Mother and Father, releasing attachment to old stories that no longer define me and I allow myself to be free.

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